I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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