Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize