I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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