I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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