"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
