I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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