I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I can't put those talents on a resume
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
