at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
