If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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