if you like me you must not know who I am
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Randomize
