Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
