you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
