it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
