I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
