you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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