its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize