is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
