Acid is not a monday night drug
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
