party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
