I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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