What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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