I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
