I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
that may or may not have been my penis.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
