Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Randomize
