But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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