Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
