1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
