mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
