Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize