apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
