I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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