Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
