did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I just want to make out with him forever
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
