Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Randomize
