so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
