i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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