I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
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i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
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She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize