Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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