Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
