and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
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Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
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Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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