tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
