I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
