The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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