so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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