11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
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