i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
The power of my boobs compel you
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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