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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.

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• (415): View more from California

  I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.

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  Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)

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• (713): View more from Texas

  I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it

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  23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (916): View more from California

  I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.

  (224): View more from Illinois

  Those were right hand only?

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• (573): View more from Missouri

  Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.

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• (469): View more from Texas

  So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?

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• (914): View more from New York

  There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper

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