you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
