He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.