first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe