Texts From Last Night

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  (917): View more from New York City

  So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.

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  (917): So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions. http://tfl.nu/wfn7
  Replies (6) Good night (999) Bad night (494)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Pregnant stripper...not hot.

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  (734): Pregnant stripper...not hot. http://tfl.nu/9fe2
  Replies (20) Good night (685) Bad night (1615)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.

  (360): View more from Washington

  I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.

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  (503): Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch. (360): I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina. http://tfl.nu/x3ve
  Replies (92) Good night (4806) Bad night (1035)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?

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  (803): already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever? http://tfl.nu/cbh0
  Replies (28) Good night (4333) Bad night (897)
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  (916): View more from California

  Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.

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  (916): Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus. http://tfl.nu/w1gl
  Replies (17) Good night (1096) Bad night (5380)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display

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  (541): So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display http://tfl.nu/m1ar
  Replies (7) Good night (3700) Bad night (896)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..

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  (813): Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it.. http://tfl.nu/d0rc
  Replies (5) Good night (1647) Bad night (691)
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  (347): View more from New York

  I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.

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  (347): I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of. http://tfl.nu/xmgz
  Replies (24) Good night (844) Bad night (2498)
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  (714): View more from California

  I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.

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  (714): I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished. http://tfl.nu/d04x
  Replies (12) Good night (5173) Bad night (551)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.

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  (251): Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now. http://tfl.nu/uhhh
  Replies (7) Good night (1002) Bad night (2987)
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  (310): View more from California

  Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.

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  (310): Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN. http://tfl.nu/m6qh
  Replies (7) Good night (1089) Bad night (543)
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  (949): View more from California

  We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.

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  (949): We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex. http://tfl.nu/qzkw
  Replies (14) Good night (2477) Bad night (418)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub

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  (905): I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub http://tfl.nu/k11n
  Replies (4) Good night (428) Bad night (743)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice

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  (402): Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice http://tfl.nu/0nos
  Replies (2) Good night (701) Bad night (285)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"

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  (573): On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods" http://tfl.nu/38wh
  Replies (4) Good night (537) Bad night (269)

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