i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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