well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Randomize
