Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
