Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize