What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
