Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
