i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
