I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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