Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
he thought i was a dude.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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