he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Randomize
