yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
This toilet bowl is my home.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
