What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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