She said her name was "party"
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
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I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
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For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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