I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
