I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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