Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
