just survived the first fart of the relationship.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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