Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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