How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
